One Day The Things Inside Me Will Eat Their Way Out


I’m on a slow grind just now trying to ramp down one set of meds over 6 weeks so I can start over on a different set, in amongst it, I managed to find some headspace to patch up this afternoon.

It’s a bit of a sprawl, Marbles, Stages, Plaits, Rings, Blinds, Braids, Shades, Clouds, Peaks, Ripples, Old Tides, Elements and Shelves are all doing their thing here along with SMR, DLD, 3 Sisters, Batumi, Maths, Optomix and just about most of the modules I’ve got.

Lots of interesting (to me anyway) patching where an element will cause an event to happen or not elsewhere eg. I was using shelves to process SMRs output but also used one of the expander outputs to trigger a Maths envelope if it exceeded the threshold input.


I have read this several times, but I think I must be lacking context. By “meds” do you mean medication?

The music is really enjoyable as well! I love the underlying gentle burbling and the contrasting ethereal crackle.


I’ve spent the last year on a fairly hefty dose of SSRIs and given how dreadful I’ve still felt, I’ve decided to try a different one. To try to minimise the withdrawal symptoms (which are still pretty lousy), my doctor has got me scaling down my dose by half every 2 weeks until I’m off the current one and can start a different one (with probably different shitty side effects).

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for about as long as I can remember but have found that the medication over the last year has made it more difficult for me to access the usual creative headspace that was always there when making sound and art with the added physical load of feeling mentally and physically exhausted most of the time.

Still, I’m still alive so I guess that’s something.

Thanks for talking the time to listen.


I was askin myself,who does this great sound?..erstlaub…of course!


I hope the new SSRI works better for you. The side effects can at times be disconcerting. After a couple of decades on those meds I reached a point when they were no longer needed and the burst in creativiy was gratefully received. :v:t3: Peace.

PS. Thanks for sharing this lovely bit of self generative music.